I just pynch a tree in the face
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
