Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
