How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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