oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
