hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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