I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
