He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
