Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
