Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
honey bunches of taint.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
