its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
