Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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