Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize