nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
