I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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