Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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