do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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