he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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