Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
