he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
