I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
