Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
