there was a trapeze. enough said
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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