I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Randomize
