What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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