idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
