if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
