so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
