We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
