I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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