very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I CAN MOONWALK!
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.