a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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