i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
