Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!