Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?