shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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