WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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