Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i out mim tonsoeep
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