Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
