I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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