I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
