for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
