so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
