Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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