I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
