As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
