Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
