Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
