toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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