shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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