One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i dont even know how to be here
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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