Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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