Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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