We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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