she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
