apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
