I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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