At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish you could order shots online.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
