I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
