Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
