You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
