WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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