I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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