I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize