Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
