I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
