You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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