Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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